"Naughty" is a lens that doesn't work.

'"Naughty" is a lens that doesn't work.... for children of complex trauma' was the title of the training we went to on Monday at the agency we are doing foster care with. When we arrived we discovered that the only other carer who was there was the permanent carer for the boys we have done respite care for. To top it off, the psychologist running the training was about to start seeing the boys. So it turned out really well. We took Mr 14 with us for the day as we felt it would be helpful for him, and that he was old enough to take on board what he was hearing.

It was fascinating training, focusing on the impact of trauma on the developing brain, the behaviours that result and some suggestions in how to approach such behaviours. We're thinking of suggesting they offer the training as an inservice to schools with children from their agency. It was so helpful, and schools are the other significant place these children spend time. I would be very surprised if many teachers have had the opportunity to benefit from such training.

A lot of the training looked at the 3-4 processes of the brain. Thinking (neocortex), Emotional (mammalian), Physical (not part of the original diagram, but worth adding) and Reptilian (ie survival). Trauma leaves many children in a heightened state, and so unable to operate in thinking mode, particularly in times of conflict or emotional arousal. They instead move into emotional or even survival mode. So you see the flight or fight behaviours come in a lot earlier than you would with the average child. We were given strategies to work with children who have complex trauma in each of the three stages. Naughty just doesn't cover what is going on for these children. Their response to the world and people around them is far more complex than that.

Honestly it was brilliant, and particularly helpful given we could all talk about the same children, giving the psychologist a picture of what to expect once she meets them.

I've still got lots to process, and will definitely be reading over the notes we were given. I love that our agency provides this training, and I'm really thankful we've had the opportunity to do this so early on in our journey.