First Placement - that got real very quickly!

We just said goodbye to our first foster care placement. Two brothers aged 6 and 4 who we cared for over the weekend to give their permanent carer some respite. Our agency is very keen for us to do some respite before taking on permanent care, and we agree. We quite possibly will do some more respite with these boys again.

It was a hectic weekend. They are 2 extremely energetic boys.

Mr 4 walked into our home and immediately won our hearts. He is such an open book and just loves interacting with people. Mr 6 was somewhat more hesitant but it wasn't long until he appeared settled as well. We kept confirming to them that they would be returning to their carer today.

We were able to meet their permanent carer during the week. She dropped over and we were able to show her where they would be sleeping, etc, and she was able to talk to us about the boys. This was a very valuable experience. It left her feeling confident they would have a positive experience, and left us knowing a lot more of what to expect. We also discovered that she is also a christian, and attends another church in our town. I think this just put us all at ease a bit, as we knew there would be no awkwardness around where we were all coming from.

Our boys were amazing. Mr 14 was possibly even more incredible than I had anticipated. He was patient, loving and kind. He played with them, received a million hugs, and was able to redirect their attention when necessary. A couple of times he was able to achieve with them what we were struggling to, simply be setting an example and asking them to join in. Our Mr 12 had a wonderful time playing with them both, and particularly with Mr 6. Our boys were pretty tired after a late night on Friday night, but you'd hardly have known it. A couple of times on the Saturday Mr 14 felt the need to take a break. He had some of his own things to get on with, so this wasn't a problem at all.

The thing that was really noticeable was how much they cherished spending time with my husband. They sought his attention at every possible moment, and were often "helping" him. They both loved to help. Today at church, as soon as he came and sat down with us they both latched on to either side of him. As their carer is a single mum, I'm glad we were able to offer this obviously much needed father figure of sorts.

This morning when we were having breakfast we discovered that the boys thought that our boys were also in care. They were surprised to hear that they were our children, and asked if they would get another mother. That this was their "normal" is a sad state really. I have no idea how many families these boys had lived with. What a lot to have to deal with at such a young age.

The boys were sad to leave, but it is great knowing they are going to someone who loves them. She has even changed the type of care she is doing to offer them a permanent home.

My early reflections - looking after a couple of kids for a weekend is not massively difficult. Saturday was trickier than Sunday as we sought to establish ground rules. But I am confident that the more frequently they came to visit the easier that would be. Already today they were responding better to our requests. What a blessing it would be for foster kids to regularly have the same respite family as part of their extended family. How simple to provide support to someone caring for those most in need in our society. For anyone who has been thinking of putting their toe in the waters of foster care this would be such a great way to go about it. It's not necessarily an ongoing commitment, although it could be. And the blessings flow both ways - we feel privileged to have been a part of their lives, even just for a couple of days, and they had a fantastic time. By the end of the weekend Mr 4 fell asleep in the car by the corner of our block. Mr 6 was upset to say goodbye. How quickly you can win over the heart of a child, and how quickly they have won over ours.