Why Fostering

Why fostering?

Good question.

For many years now we have had a desire for our family to be a blessing to others. Even before we had children and were thinking of how many children we would like to have, this idea was simmering in our minds. If we had lots of children would there be room in our family to do this? So we had 2 children of our own, through not fantastic birth experiences, and decided to leave it there for a while. I am not someone who has loved the infant years. I have found them hard going. I do love my boys though.

When our youngest was still in Preschool we started thinking again about whether and how our family could be a blessing to others. I spent a lot of time researching. And I really do mean a lot of time.

Fostering wasn't the only thing we looked into. We wanted to offer a permanent home to children who didn't have one. So we started by looking into overseas adoption and into fostering. Eventually we decided to go down the path of fostering (why not overseas adoption is for another post). We started the process of applying. To put it mildly, it was a disaster. By the time we had reached the point of deciding it wasn't the right time our youngest was in school. I won't go into it all in this post, but the Dept of Community Services left us feeling like it would be a very bad idea if the circumstances we were in to continue with fostering.

A few years went by. I read a lot of blogs. We moved towns. We started talking about foster care again and talked to an agency. I kept reading blogs. A couple more years went by. Still reading blogs. We set ourselves a time to stop and think and pray about it again. We took that time and decided it was the right time to start applying again. During the time we were out of the application process a lot changed with the governments handling of foster care. They changed their department name. But more than that, foster care was put into the hands of external agencies. The government has also opened up the way for children in long term foster care, who are not likely to ever return to their home, to have the option of being adopted. So after doing some research of agencies, we began speaking and applying through one of them.

I have been moved for a long time by the amount of children out there who need homes. Not just somewhere to live, but somewhere to call home. Emergency care was never something I considered I would be well suited to. I want to offer a long term solution to children who need a long term solution. I have also always been appalled by the idea of children being split up from their siblings when they go through the trauma of losing their parents by whatever means. So for me, long term foster care, and potentially adoption of siblings is a good match.

As someone who became a christian in their teens I have also been really moved by the idea of being adopted into God's family, even while we were living in rebellion to him. What better way to reflect that truth than by offering that in a physical sense to children who need it.

Fostering is mnore complex than simply telling a child this is their new home and new family, but I'm going with broad brush strokes here.

The result of all of this is that we have been approved to do foster care, and have said we would like to foster 2 siblings. We have said preferrably boys, becuase I'm scared of girls! But this is not a door we would shut, and if God puts girls in our path, then girls it is. We have said between the ages of 4 and 9, but again, that is a prefernce, not a set in concrete request. At least 2 years younger than our youngest, and preferably not scary toddlers.

If you're thinking I must be someone who has always loved kids, time to do a rethink. I have never been the person who revelled in being surrounded by children. But I have been involved in the lives of many children through church, sunday school, playgroup, school and the like. And I love and have concern for each child in my path and their wellbeing. I am truly passionate about children, even if I don't feel hugely well equipped at times with them. And I am passionate about advocating for what is best for them. I know I will love whichever children God brings into our home, even if at times I find it difficult. We have been quite specific about age etc because I know I have limitations - ie toddlers and babies. But I also know I have strengths, and I hope that these strengths will be a blessing to these children. I think my biggest strenghts are my relationships. Firstly with God, and then with my husband, and also with my children. I love my family, and I will love whoever is part of my family, even if they aren't with us forever. This is a choice I make now, well before feelings come into play. I was never clucky for babies, but I knew I wanted to have children and I love my boys fiercely. I am not clucky for foster children. They will not be filling a hole in my heart, but I am sure they will find a hole in my heart that I don't know is there, and I pray I can fill a hole in their heart.